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I've been practicing the art of detachment for at least a year now. The aim is to be actively involved in life but less attached. Many great thinkers have spoken about the wisdom of detachment. "The root of suffering is attachment," notes Buddha. 我修习“超然之道”已经一年有余。所谓超然,是既要投入生活又要减少执着。许多伟大的思想家对此早有洞见。佛曰:“执念是痛苦的根源。” Life is a series of experiences: a combination of states we go through. Where people fail is that they get attached to a state of transition and define their lives by it. They get attached to how things should be. If life doesn't match their expectations, they get frustrated, angry, depressed and even lost. That's the pain of attachment. 人生是一系列体验的叠加,会经历各种不同的状态。人们常犯的错误,就是执着于某种过渡状态,并以此来定义自己的生活。他们固执地认为“事物应该如何”。当现实与预期不符时,便滋生出挫败、愤懑、抑郁乃至迷失——这正是执念带来的痛苦。 Detachment doesn't mean withdrawing from life. 放下并不意味着逃避。 It's showing up with your whole self without needing to control the outcome. Psychologists talk about "secure attachment" versus "anxious attachment." The first one allows you to connect while maintaining independence. It's a healthier way to live. Attachment creates suffering because it ties your happiness to something external. Detachment frees you to find peace within. You can't control any outcome or how people behave, so why give them that much power over how you feel? Life isn't something you own. It's something you experience. 它是全心投入却不强求结果。心理学家将执着分为“安全型”和“焦虑型”,前者让人在维系关系时保有独立性。这是一种更健康的生活方式。执念之所以产生痛苦,在于将幸福系于外物;超然则助你回归内心安宁。既然无法掌控结果和他人行为,何必给予他们控制你如何感受的莫大权力呢?生命从来不是占有,只是一场亲历。 It flows through you like a river. 生命如河,川行于你。
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-拜伦·凯蒂与功课: 一个来自南加州高地沙漠小镇的平凡妇女, 一份成功的事业,两段婚姻,三个小孩。 曾经经历重度抑郁,易怒,偏执,暴躁, 长期卧床不起,家人小心翼翼生怕惊扰到她, 最后直接躺在收容所的地板上,因为她觉得自己连睡在床上的资格都没有。 在1986年的早晨一些绝望突然烟消云散, 她感到似乎整个世界都消失了,留下的只有喜悦和美好。 凯蒂发现我们的痛苦都来自于那些头脑中未经质疑的念头, 功课(The Work)从此诞生。 有人问凯蒂“你是开悟了吗?” 她说“我只是会分辨什么会伤你什么不会伤你而已。”
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